I become an analyst while I run; assessing my body and assessing the decisions I've made or need to make in work, relationships, and everything else. Currently, I'm in the process of a career-change. From healthcare to the creative/tech industry. It's exhausting to feel as though I always have something to work on. From classes to projects for my portfolio to freelance work for people. The more work I get done, the sooner I can apply for jobs in the field, meaning there's never an absence of work to work on. It's overwhelming, until I go run and figure out a timeline for myself. Where should my focus be and when should that focus change? I need to rest and feel as though I'm allowed to rest and not be working. And when I'm working, I need to feel determined and work hard. Running allows me to compartmentalize my thoughts and actions. I never half-ass anything. When I'm on a run I'm really focused on analyzing my body and my ideas. When I'm sketching and following through with ideas, I'm not worried about my next run where I become the analyst, right now I'm the artist working on ideas. And when I'm drinking beer and watching Netflix, I'm just me, focused on recovering my body and mind. I keep it all separate and I don't multi-task as much as possible. 100% energy on one thing at a time. This makes me a lot happier and more self-sufficient as a person.
The great thing about this separation of trail running and life outside of running, is that they feed each others drive and motivation. When I work out a real-life problem during a run, I can't wait to put it into action. And when I'm stressed out, confused and feeling indecisive, I can't wait to go run and figure out what to do to simplify my confusion. Because my formula works! Running always makes me feel better. It always allows me to feel more creative. And my high turnover of accomplishments only proves my point. I figured out I was iron-deficient and b12-deficient a couple years ago, and I figured out what to do to fix it. I decided Indiana's cloudy weather makes me feel depressed, so I moved to Colorado where it's sunny most of the time. I realized there's no job in healthcare that will make me feel happy and utilize the creative talent I have, so I decided pursuing a job in graphic design would make me happy. I won't settle for being only 80% happy. I'm in control of life, and when I'm not, I'm in control of the way I perceive what's currently happening. There are endless ways to change what's not good around to make it better, and trail running so far, seems to be the perfect tool in allowing me to make quick and positive decisions.
I can't forget to let you know it's also fun! It's not always hard work. Slow runs with friends don't feel like hard work to me. I'm in good shape, so that's part of it. I also find fun in seeing results, marked by races. It's also more like a meditation than a sport. It relaxes me and like I said above, it's a tool for organizing and simplifying the way I perceive my life. It's just so healthy for my body and my mind. I love exploring new trails and I love going back to the same trails that hold so many awesome memories. One health benefit of being in supreme running shape is how much energy I have, physically and mentally. It allows me to work hard on whatever I'm working on. Of course there's rock climbing, strength training, skiing, swimming, yoga, and maybe mountain biking - I feel similar all-around benefits from these activities. But none totally compare to running.
Now for that million-dollar question: why ultra-distance? Why not a 5k or half-marathon? Why does it have to be a crazy 100 miles in the mountains or 50 miles across the Grand Canyon and back where you don't even end with a finishers medal?...
Because, it wakes me up.
It reminds me I'm alive with endless opportunities and possibilities in this world. There's just nothing that compares. It's not to say that a 5k or half-marathon don't. But that alive feeling only lasts 21 minutes or so during a 5k, and only 1 hour and 40 minutes or so during a half marathon! During 100 miles, I get to feel alive and awake and full of feeling for an entire 30 hours or so. And for years to come afterwards. In a world of hiding emotions and stressful situations, running forces it all to the surface. It's a therapy. You relive your whole life during 100 miles. You feel what you've bottled up and you sort through it and keep on running. No matter the pain, no matter the desire to stop, you keep going because quitting would mean giving up on finding out what the deepest part of your being is made of. It's an incredibly emotional experience that leaves you feeling fresh and light and simple after. On a scientific level, this probably has something to do with the way the brains serotonin and dopamine levels change throughout a run this far. But it seems good to stir the body's chemistry up every once in awhile. Get the blood flowing, give the body a reason to fight for life and accomplishment. Bring it all to the surface to see what we're truly made of. And I can tell you with certainty that mile 85 gives you a fantastic glimpse into what you're really made of. Oh, and if I can run 100 miles, anything else I set my sights on in life will be a piece of cake!
