A Yellow Raft

A fictional account of a man and woman stranded in the middle of the ocean.

A yellow raft relaxed above the depths of a dark blue ocean, gently swaying from one side to the other, back and forth. The hot sun filled the highest part of the sky and didn’t mind resting there for awhile. A salty breeze would begin to swirl around the raft, just to dissolve in the sun’s burning rays. And nothing but water filled time and space.

A man and a woman lay in the center of the raft, arms wrapped around each other’s bodies with legs intertwined. They cried as the orange sun slowly slid down the sky and into the furthest part of the ocean. Their tears had baked and crusted onto each other's red skin. Love and sadness filled their eyes as they looked deeper into the other’s face than they’d ever looked before. They’d stay like this for hours as they drifted in and out of sleep. They gripped each other and looked at each other. Their faces radiating by way of the sun or glimmering by way of the moon and stars. Night would pass. And then they’d hold on some more as the sun climbed back up the other side of the sky. They’d hold on to each other for dear life until the air was too hot and skin too sticky to touch.

Days would pass and the yellow raft still clung onto the ocean’s surface like a tic, eager to suck for life. Although the ocean’s surface gave nothing to the man and woman but a sad reflection.

The woman would pull out a red jug of water for herself and the man, twice each day. It sloshed deliciously inside, a different sound than that of the salty water slapping the edge of the raft. This water instead, was fresh and flavorful. The man and woman took turns carefully sipping at it for any sort of vitality it held. And then they’d carefully store the red jug away with two others -- the only things in the raft besides themselves. They needed the water, but they needed each other more.

They’d sit in silence a lot, but sometimes they’d talk for hours. They’d work through impossible plans to get rescued, nothing they hadn’t already talked about. Or work through what happened, what went wrong on their boat. They’d shake while remembering the way their boat gurgled as the last of it went under, gone forever. To leave just that paralyzing view of the infinite ocean. As they talked, their expressions filled the massive blue ocean void. The man would hold the woman as she screamed for their healthy daughter so far away with grandma and grandpa. Or the woman would hold the man as he expressed how deeply he loved and cared for her and would miss her if everything ended here. And the two of them would watch in horror as the other slowly slipped away from this life.

Just once after they’d started slipping away, the woman spoke to the man about life when their daughter was born.

The man watched the woman glow the way she used to before this hell. The way her lips moved as she talked, always stuck in a smile. Her hands flowed in all directions, so expressive as she told wonderful stories about their daughter. He listened as she described the first time their daughter opened her eyes and looked up at the woman, her mom. The man saw the way the woman paused after describing her daughter’s brilliant green eyes that looked just like his own, her husband’s. He saw in the woman’s face just how intense her feelings were at this moment, how alive she still was.

A sick fear washed over the man as he watched his wife be truly alive for the last time.

Weeks would pass and the ocean was still blue, the raft was still yellow and the sun continued its trek across the sky and down into the ocean. But the man and the woman sat with less expression each day.

The woman stared at the man and watched as he anxiously slept with his head back against the edge of the raft. He’d snore and then twitch himself awake for a moment before drifting away again. His lips chapped and skin bloody from sun exposure. She didn’t know this bony man with a beard.

The man stared at the woman as she watched the sun, blinking slowly with unfocused eyes as it neared the horizon. He didn’t know this fragile woman who hadn’t smiled or laughed in weeks. He didn’t know this woman who’d almost seemed to stop caring -- about him, about their daughter. They sat at opposite ends of the boat in silence, watching every second of a life they didn’t know, pass by.

Time kept moving and nothing felt real anymore. Hallucinations began to consume their reality as they starved to death from a lack of food, dehydration and exposure.

The woman would lean over the raft and talk into her reflection on the ocean’s surface. She’d talk to their daughter and laugh this disturbing laugh that did not belong to her.

She’d also talk to the man. Except she wouldn’t be looking at him. It was as though she didn’t realize he was even there. Neither of them were really there.

She’d stare at the horizon, at the water, straight into the sun, and talk nonsense with a stale expression.

The man no longer watched her as she talked.

The man would point to a non-existent ship and start waving and mumbling in a soft voice. He’d splash at the water like a crazy person, and then fall back into the raft and curl up in a ball moaning. He was in pain as his insides were in the process of falling apart.

He’d talk to the woman. Except he wouldn’t be looking at her. It was as though he didn’t realize she was even there. And still, neither of them were really there.

He’d hold his hands out from his face and continue mumbling while looking at them, and picking at them.

The woman no longer watched him as he talked.

Neither saw the other anymore. And even when they did, they didn’t look for long. They’d run out of water yesterday and their brains were drying up. Soon, they were going to turn into dust and crumble. The raft would stay afloat for awhile, but eventually the woman and man would drift to the bottom of the ocean.

It was another sunny day out in the middle of the ocean. The woman went limp and her heart stopped. The man watched the woman be still for awhile before he turned his head down to pick some more at his blistered hands. He wasn’t totally aware she’d just died. He said her name, Ella. Then he said his daughter’s name, Grace. He lay against the back end of the raft as the sun passed the rest of the way across the sky, drifting in and out of consciousness and then took his final breath.

The raft remained yellow, the ocean remained blue and the sun kept shining.

Injury-Prevention and Rehab for Runners and Non-Athletes

I've had over 10 friends ask me what types of exercises to do to help cure lower body joint injuries. These are friends who run and friends who don't run. And I generally tell them all the same thing: strengthen the glutes (butt), stretch the hip flexors (front of hips). So I decided I'd better just write a post to encompass everything I've been repeating to one person after another, but in a way that involves a little more explanation as well as example exercises.

I'm no scientific expert in this area nor am I a doctor, so just take all of this with a grain of salt. The purpose of this post is to give you an idea of what has generally proven to work for me and so many other people time and time again with injuries and injury prevention... Whether you're a 20-year old avid runner with a sore hip, a non-runner in your 50s with foot pain, or any other type of person with any combination of issues stemming from the lower body. I cannot tell you that the following exercises will cure anything, but I can tell you that these exercises as a general rule will at least be highly likely in aiding in recovery as well as prevention of so many issues. 

Before we begin, you need to understand the following two muscle groups. The first is the hip flexors (front of your hips in charge of flexing hips) and the second is the glutes (butt and side hip muscles in charge of extending or opening hips). See the following two images below for a visual:

The photo below is of the glute (butt) muscles:

https://lowbackpainprogram.com/glute-muscles-weakness/

The photo below is of the hip flexor (front of hip) muscles:

http://www.crossfitreality.com/hip-flexors/

It's also helpful to understand that good hip extension is the root of good running form. Strong and powerful glutes allow the hips to open up and they can only do so if the hip flexors are flexible. Check out the photo below to better understand what hip extension actually means. In the photo on the right, this guys left hip is extended. The front of his hip is wide open. This extended position happens when you push off the ground while running to propel yourself forward. It's easier to visualize if you imagine this guy in the photo running up a flight of stairs in slow motion. Imagine his left leg pushing off a step as hard and fast as possible. To do this he needs to really squeeze his left glute muscle, and in doing so, he would force his hips to open up wide like in the photo. That motion is so important for runners. With strong glutes and loose hip flexors, you can really extend and open the hip up and when you're able to do this, running becomes much more effortless.

http://www.irunfar.com/2014/11/low-back-pain-during-running-tips-for-ultramarathon-runners.html

The Kenyans are known for their ability to really extend their hips to a large angle, part of why they are such great runners. Watch the following video in this FANTASTIC article to see just how incredible their hip extension is:
http://www.kinetic-revolution.com/running-its-all-in-the-hips/

So now that you understand what hip extension is, why it's so important and what muscles are involved, you should also realize that most Americans who sit for even just a couple hours a day have tight hip flexors and weak glutes. And although it'll hamper your ability to be a great hip-extending runner like the Kenyans, it'll also lead to muscle imbalances or injury. When you sit, your hips are in a flexed position. Your hip flexors are in a shortened position and your glutes are in an extended position. Over time, this causes the hip flexors to become tight and the glutes to become weak. And this causes a cascade of other issues. You could almost visualize this "sitting" issue as being at the top of a tree chart, where every other lower body problem originates from this one big underlying "sitting" problem. So logically, it makes sense that correcting this imbalance will aid in correcting other imbalances. See chart below:

Everyone is different. I can't tell you for sure that tight hips will lead to tight back muscles in everyone. This chart is just supposed to give you a general idea of what I'm talking about when I say sitting causes a cascade of other problems. Sitting might cause weak glutes which might cause hamstring overuse which might cause a hamstring tear. Or sitting might cause weak glutes which might cause glute inactivity which might cause hip pain which might cause IT band syndrome which might cause knee pain which might cause ankle pain which might cause shin splints which might cause...... who the hell knows but SOMETHING! Either way, in such a large majority of people it might as well include you, it all generally stems from weak glutes and tight hips. SO...

We strengthen the glutes and stretch the hip flexors.

Now I am going to give you some simple and more complex exercises to do this. It is very important to note that this strengthening of the glutes and stretching of the hip flexors can BOTH aid in fixing a current injury and prevent future injury or pain. Once again, everyone is different, and you should probably consult with a doctor if you are seriously injured, since strengthening injured muscles can actually cause severe damage. You need to use your best judgment for your own condition when reading this post and trying these exercises.

There are so many exercises that can help but I'm not going to go through every variation. I'm only going to go through my personal workout routine and how I structure it.

As an ex-personal trainer, I know a thing or two about what I'm saying here. But I wasn't a trainer long enough to really build my exercise vocabulary to that of a personal trainer who's been in the field for years and years. I understand how muscles work and because of that and my creativity, I've become pretty good at figuring out how to move my body in order to correct an imbalance that is causing pain or injury. I don't like to spend much time in the gym strength training. Partially because I'm lazy and partially because I'd really just rather be out on the trails running! 

For those of you who run and race, something that might be helpful for you to understand is how to break down your year based on a race you're training for. Your body shouldn't try and handle hard workouts all the time. You need to go easy and then go hard. So you should start your training with "stabilization phase" exercises, move on to "strength phase" exercises, and if you are an athlete I'd even recommend moving to the "power phase" in order to improve your running further. For rehab, stabilization is the phase you want to focus on and for injury prevention, both stabilization and strength are the phases you want to focus on. So below I am going to list some simple exercises for each phase. There are 100s of exercises but once again, I'm only going to put what I personally do.

Stabilization:

• 3-5 sets, 20 reps, glute bridge
• 3-5 sets, 20 reps, stability ball hamstring curl
• 3-5 sets, 20 reps on each side, single leg touchdowns (on floor, on squishy mat, on bosu ball, etc.)
• 3-5 sets, 20 reps on each side, side leg lifts (or lateral band walking or cable hip abduction)
• Core work including plank, crunches, pushups, or any other mostly non-weighted exercises like this.
• 3-5 sets, 20 reps on each side, heel drops (add weight over time)
• ***Do these every day or every other day for a few weeks to a few months depending on how trained you already are. Specifically beneficial to begin this stage while in your off season of running. This helps maintain good form when you aren't running very much. These exercises are also very beneficial for a non-athlete or super recreational athlete to do throughout the whole year.

Strength:

• 3-5 sets, 10 reps, barbell squats (or stability ball squats - technically a stabilization exercise - against wall)
• 3-5 sets, 10 reps, barbell deadlifts or single leg touchdowns holding dumbbells ( for touchdowns, still can choose to do on floor, on squishy mat, on bosu ball, etc.)
• 3-5 sets, 10 reps on each side, lunges with dumbbells 
• Rock climbing is a good overall strength activity to build overall core muscle and improve running posture and every day life posture
• ***Once you've added these in, do everything two-three times per week as you are starting off your running season. Do for a few months while you're increasing your running mileage. This phase especially after already having gone through the stabilization phase will specifically aid in injury prevention as you rack up your mileage.

Power:

• 3-5 sets, 10 reps, kettle bell swings
• 3-5 sets, 10 reps, running up and down stairs
• 3-5 sets, 10 reps, uphill sprints
• 3-5 sets, 10 reps, squat jumps
• 3-5 sets, 10 reps, ice skaters (jumping from side to side for work glute medius)
• ***Once you've added these in, do everything one-two times per week as you are entering your final couple months of training before a race. I'd only recommend these exercises for athletes who are looking to improve their abilities in their sport, not for those trying to recover from an injury. Avoid these exercises if you are injured. 
• ***Also note that during a period of tapering during the couple weeks preceding a race, go back to the stabilization phase of exercises and stop doing strength and power exercises. This will allow the body to recover and prepare for race day.

Now in ALL these phases, you should be stretching your hip flexors. Remember from the beginning of this article that that's one half of how to fix the "sitting" issue. One part was strengthening the glutes, which a lot of the above exercises will do. But the other part was to loosen up those hip flexors that got tight from chronic sitting. There are many ways to do this. Below are a few images. It's also very helpful to foam roll your hip flexors too. Stretching and foam rolling all muscles can be very beneficial and something I'd highly recommend during every session of all phases of strength training.

http://www.teachpe.com/training-fitness/stretching/hip-and-groin-stretching-exercises

http://www.physicaltherapyfirst.com/lower-extremity-stretches/hip-flexor-stretch-foot-on-chair/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bgj6QtOVLVA

In the photo above, the woman is letting her left leg hang loose off the edge of the table. This stretches out the huge psoas muscle, which makes up part of the hip flexor group of muscles. This giant muscle connects the lower spine, through the pelvis and into the inner thigh. It is far too common for this muscle to be tight and when it is it commonly causes lower back pain because of that attachment point in the spine. It's a GIANT and powerful muscle in charge of so much while running... see image below. It's very important to keep this muscle loose and healthy for proper hip extension while running.

http://www.spine-health.com/blog/essential-role-psoas-muscle

I want to remind you that this is just what I do during a year of off-season and training. There are SO many other exercises you can either google or learn through a personal trainer. You can look up how to perform these exercises on youtube if you are unsure of anything. It's extremely important that you don't perform an exercise if you are unsure of proper form. You can easily get injured or cause an overuse injury by performing an exercise repeatedly with improper form. 

I also want to add that I don't do every exercise in each phase every single time I go to the gym. I'm also not strict with how often or which days I go to the gym. I really try to listen to my body, as cliche as that sounds. If I'm in the strength phase but don't feel like performing those heavy weight exercises, I might spend the session just doing core work or some side leg lifts. Other times I end up performing more than 5 sets at a lighter weight. I honestly think a part of my success with my exercise routine is the way in which I change it up every time. I apologize for the word vomit exercises I'm about to spit up here, but I do exercises in different orders each time. If I do single leg touchdowns holding a dumbbell in just my right hand this time, next time I might perform it with a dumbbell in just my left hand, and next time with dumbbells in both hands. Maybe instead of just doing a plank for 60 seconds like I did last week, I decide this week to do a plank until almost failure and then go right into 30 crunches to give my abs an extra burn. Sometimes I do barbell squats and then stretch while resting before going into my next exercise, such as kettle bell swings. And sometimes I like to turn it into a circuit where I do squats, then kettle bell swings, then deadlifts, then side leg lifts and then crunches all one after the other with little rest in between. And then I rest and stretch at the end of each circuit. There are so many ways you can combine these exercises in order to shock the body into trying something a different way. Just be careful and don't force yourself to do something you aren't ready or comfortable doing.

It's possible I've misrepresented information or not explained it clearly. So I'd love to hear from anyone with thoughts or questions about this post! I really just wanted to help people who are dealing with a muscle imbalance and are unsure of what to do about it. I really hope this post has helped!

Pine to Palm 100 Mile Reflection!

I had a difficult time determining what to write about this race. But I feel better having written.

I absolutely love the pacific northwest. I've been out that way three times and each time has been magnificent, the weather perfect. Everything about it is pleasant and gorgeous. So when I was suddenly inspired this past February about this race, I just couldn't wait to get back out to Oregon and run a new course in a new part of the PNW I'd never before been to. The race would start in a small town called Williams, and run 100 miles east and finish in Ashland. This is southern Oregon. My friend Max and I flew into Portland and got to hang out for two days before the race. I got to see my old friend Adrianne and one of Max's friends Alexis. We did an easy shakeout run on the Wildwood Trail, went to a tech meetup with Adrianne and saw some sweet companies and their corporate lifestyles, got some work done at some coffee shops, and ate some really delicious local food!

Pre-race shakeout run/hike

Adrianne and Max (Max was my crew)

We then slowly made our way down I-5 to southern Oregon. Pine to Palm 100 was going to be 100-mile finish number three for me. With number one being Leadville, I wanted to see if I could go the distance. With number two being Run Rabbit Run, I was just so excited to have friends to run with the entire 100 miles. With this one, it was a destination race and a chance to push for time. Being in a magical place, being on vacation, I wouldn't let myself quit because then I'd be miserable the rest of vacation. I was just so excited to live it up for the week.

There was something different about this race than the first two. At this point, I knew I could do it. I knew it would be painful. But I knew I could get it done. I spent the money registering, I had friends come out all for me to crew and pace. I wasn't going to quit and let them down or waste money having registered and flown all the way out here. But I questioned my reasoning for signing up for this much more during this race than during my first two. And even after finishing, it really didn't hit me the way I thought it would. Not to be a spoiler but the day after finishing, kind of just felt like another day (aside from the soreness and exhaustion). And that worries me for my future 100s. More on this at the end of this post.

The pre-race meeting

I woke up on race morning and thought, "F***********ck"... The only word that could truly summarize my feelings in one word in that moment. I was genuinely excited to see the race course though. Point-to-point course meant every step of the way would be new trail. Besides a couple miserable little out 'n backs. The first 10 miles were fun but smokey. The forest fire in northern California had us running through smoke the first 20 miles or so. It smelled like a campfire. A little annoying, but the views were gorgeous at the top of our first climb at mile 10.

Mile 10, top of first climb. Smoke down below.

Mile 20 hurt. The course flattened out a bit here and I wanted to walk. It was also getting hot out! Highs were in the 90s. But I was fine. Listened to music here to allow me a bit of an escape from the miserable thoughts about the long day ahead of me. Mile 30 to 40 was supposed to be hot and exposed. I actually felt really good through this long and exposed climb. But right after I left the mile 42 aid station, I began to feel pretty miserable.

mile 42 and my potatoes

It wasn't even physical. It was mental. It was a grueling trek to mile 52. I didn't want to leave the mile 52 aid station. This was the lowest point of the whole course for me. I knew I had 14 miles until I'd get my pacer at mile 66. The sun was also about to set and I just absolutely did not want to keep going. I decided running 100 miles is stupid. I decided I must be stupid. I decided I was absolutely never running 100 miles again in my life and I wasn't even going to run a step again in my life either for that matter. I hated running. It's funny how stereotypical this was for me to be saying and thinking. It's funny how certain I was about never wanting to run again. I felt like I was in jail. Trapped. Stuck. In pain. Miserable. In agony. Unhappy. So frustrated. I hated everything. I wanted to cry. I felt like vomiting because of the pain. I wanted to throw my spotify playlist (my phone) at a tree because the songs were suddenly sucking. But the aid station crew and Max were awesome. I ate like 10 hash browns. And just laid there on a cot staring at the trees. I wondered how my friend who was running Wasatch the day before did. I wondered what my parents back home were doing. I wondered what the ocean would look like when I finally would get to see it the next day. I imagined laying in the sand staring at the sky, not having to move ever again for the rest of my life. And suddenly it was time to get up and go. Just one more hashbrown please. And THEN I'll go, I swear.

Headphones back in, stomach full of hash browns, and the night was settling in. Tears welled up in my eyes, and I realized how lucky I was to get to do something so crazy. How fortunate I was to get to spend a weekend exploring 100 miles of new trails. I am healthy and strong. I live a lucky life to be able to choose to do something so difficult, all for enjoyment. So many people have difficult days every day and all day long. They don't see an end in sight. I was going to finish this. The next few miles were fantastic as the sun was setting. A few songs in that sunset moment hit me like an ocean wave. It's hard to describe how running and music can affect me in such an inspiring way. I can be so stubborn sometimes. But running and music opens my eyes to so many possibilities, so much happiness, so much creativity, and so much insight.

After mile 52, right before the sun would set

But let me tell you, those 14 miles from 52 to 66 were just as miserable as I thought they'd be. It was a slow climb all the way up. So much dirt road that should have been sort of runnable. I did run some. But man oh man. It was agonizing! It was brutal! I still wanted to quit! I had to look away as cars passed to keep myself from waving them down to take me away. I saw some crazy creatures out here at night though. That was pretty cool.

one of like 5 scorpions I saw

millipede

fuzzy spider

But boy oh boy, these miles were dreadful. I suddenly heard music coming from up the hill/mountain on the left. The music stayed in the same spot for like 30 minutes, even though I was still moving. I thought it had to be an aid station. Or no, maybe it's some people camping up there? Wait, but maybe I'm hallucinating this? Or wait again, maybe one of the runners up ahead is playing music on some portable speakers or something!?!! No, it has to be a f*cking aid station. F*ck, it's been 30 minutes, time to take another f*cking gel!! (I'm not much of a wordsmith at mile 60, nor do I particularly care to avoid the fowl language that goes through my mind). The trees cleared a bit, and I knew the aid station was way up above me to the left echoing through the night. The race course had been curving around a mountain with the aid station at the top of the mountain, which is why I continued to hear music in the same exact place. I heard music for an hour and a half before I finally made it to the aid station. That just destroyed me. I still wanted to quit. But as soon as I saw my pacers and crew, I knew I'd be fine. I was very excited to have someone to run with. My own mind is nice to listen to 'n all, buuuuut... yeah, time to have some conversations with people instead of my brain.

I was on a high for the next 10 miles with my first pacer, Cheri. We covered about 7 miles to the next aid station and it felt so easy (comparatively)! I felt a twinge in my knee for awhile, which made the downhills a little frustrating. But everything felt relatively good. We made it into mile 80 aid station and I was a little over it. The high was definitely gone. But this was the make it or break it point. A point where a lot of people drop. Mile 80 is soooooo far. But at the same time, you still have 20 miles to go! And at such a slow pace, you know it's going to feel like forever! So I knew that as long as I made it OUT of this aid station, I would finish. I couldn't let myself get too cold sitting there. I needed to keep eating. Get the dirt out of my shoes. I was fine. Time for my second pacer, Ben. The next 10 miles weren't too bad, a little grueling, but also more interesting. It wasn't just boring dirt roads, there was more single-track to change it up, along with some technical parts. Another little out 'n back section to get this little toy from on top of a giant boulder pile you had to "scramble" up to get. I'd say mile 86 to mile 90 were miserable though. It was a super steep downhill section and my knees were beat. I was grimacing the whole way. I wanted to just run it really fast, but couldn't. My knees felt like they were going to buckle and I felt nauseous because of the pain. Ben and I also got stung by some sort of hornet-wasp-bee thing. Ben got stung twice. The icing on the cake for this race. I had to laugh a little at the bee sting, it was the least of my pains in that moment.

We made it to mile 90. The sun finally rose and I had 10 miles of gradual downhill to the finish. I got a warm excited feeling for a moment. That moment you know you will definitely make it no matter what. I listened to music most of the rest of the way and some songs from the previous day hit me again and really put the whole experience together for me. I was still in pain and so ready for it to be over. I was on track to finish around 27 hours. We dropped into Ashland and rounded some corners to the finish line. My final time was 27 hours and 10 seconds. I felt completely satisfied. 100-mile PR. I laid down on a cot and knew I didn't have to ever move again if I didn't want to. Ohhhhh the satisfaction of finishing these horribly, awfully, wonderful adventures. I guess it wasn't THAT bad.......

Mile 98

Laying on the best cot ever at the finish line. With Cheri, Gary & Ben

The awards ceremony in Ashland was my favorite awards ceremony so far of the three 100s I've run. The race director, Hal Koerner, asks everyone to answer a question - this year to tell their favorite and least favorite part about the course. It was fun to hear everyone's crazy stories. The race is smaller compared to some other 100s out there, so the small group setting felt really nice. More personal. And in case you'd like to know my favorite and least favorite part: I said mile 52 for favorite and least favorite. I felt like quitting. But the aid station crew gave me as many hash browns as I wanted! It was horrible and great all at the same time.

awards ceremony

And of course I spent the next two days driving up the coast along Hwy 101, enjoying the supreme relaxation that comes with beach towns and wineries. It felt so incredibly enjoyable and (I hesitate to say it) almost too easy in contrast to the difficulty I endured the previous couple days.

fresh grapes at a winery

the BEST salmon I've ever had

that perfect moment I kept dreaming about during the race

reminiscing 

oh yes, the hot tub and sauna

post race cigar and Oregon wine

Back to the part of me that couldn't figure out what to write in this post. I think it relates to the comment I wrote above about how finishing this race didn't hit me the way it did after my first two 100s. I still have trouble with this. But at the same time, maybe it's good. Before a race, I tend to minimize the pain I'm about to be in. I don't study the course the way some people do, I just let it happen. I don't get a fancy hotel and pamper myself the night before, I sleep in a tent. I actually sleep well before 100s. I just don't think too much about it. Of course I usually have a slight pit at the bottom of my stomach before a giant race like this. I have a sense of hopelessness for what's to come. Some anxiety. But I just let it happen. And I think allowing myself to just take it one step at a time allows me to somewhat overlook the craziness about it. The race begins, I endure it, and it's over the next day. 27 hours really isn't THAT long in the grand scheme of things. It's just my mindset. I'm always ready for something to be so much worse than it actually ends up being. Don't get me wrong, mile 52 felt impossibly difficult in the moment. Seriously. But I allow myself to maintain a sense of naiveness and innocence about the enormity of the task I'm about to set out to accomplish before and after, that the incredibly difficult moments don't actually last very long. I'm the person that has no clue that what I just did was actually difficult. People may say, didn't you notice that giant hill at mile whatever? It won't have really crossed my mind that that hill was a GIANT hill, it was just a hill and I was going to climb it anyways, so who cares how it's classified? It could have been anything and it would have been just the same in my mind. I think it's good. I enjoy the experience. I push through to finish. And most importantly, I don't sign up unless I'm totally consumed by inspiration about the race. That's key for me. I was inspired by this race, and inspired by Oregon and couldn't wait to get back to the ocean. I knew I'd finish, if even just out of respect for the gorgeous trails this beautiful place has allowed me to explore.

gorgeous waterfall on the last day of the trip